I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
