I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
