I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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