Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
