fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sext me about skeletons
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
