Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
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You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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