it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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