i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
