i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
