Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
