I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
