I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I touched a dick in church today
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
