I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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