I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
