...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
