marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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