know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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