so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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