Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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