I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
