Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
