im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
