Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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