Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
