ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
