I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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