Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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