coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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