Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
