I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
