i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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