Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
