Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys

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(707): View more from California

so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(703): View more from Virginia

Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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(253): View more from Washington

May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died

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