We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
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dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
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You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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