she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize