Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I heard we made out
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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