IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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