I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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