nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
