sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
