Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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