Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
