That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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