Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
