once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
