check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
