she pinky promised me she was 18
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
