I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize