If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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