and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
