I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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