Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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