Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize