just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
