I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
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The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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