I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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