And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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