Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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