I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
