You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize