The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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