I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
