so explain again why im purple
no
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize