But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
