I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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