Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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