what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
