Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
