chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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