so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
