dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize