I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think my moral compass just broke
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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