Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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