i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
