Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
